Feb 15, 1994 Barbados - Grenada howler (Huw Morris) Oct 12, 1994 Mick O'Brien (Garry Archer, Gary Spain) Sep 7, 1995 Higuita (Ariel Mazzarelli) Feb 19, 1996 Wrong time for an own goal (Stig Oppedal) Dec 11, 1997 Gothenburg goal v Bayern München (Markian Jaworsky) Mar 31, 1998 Dean Saunders goal v Port Vale (Stephen Davies) Apr 14, 1998 Carsten Jancker goal v 1860 München (Bruce Scott) Apr 17, 1998 Burgos v Chilavert (Ariel Mazzarelli) =========================================== From: hm@rlssp1..bnsc.rl.ac.uk (Huw Morris) Subject: Barbados - Grenada howler Date: 15 Feb 1994 17:35:55 GMT I'd like to share with you a little gem I heard on the radio last night. It concerns a match played last weekend between Barbados and Grenada in some cup competition. Barbados needed to win the game by two clear goals in order to progress to the next round. Now the trouble was caused by a daft rule in the competition which stated that in the event of a game going to penalty kicks, the winner would be awarded a 2-0 victory. (Yes, I'm sure you can all see what's coming....) With 5 minutes to go, Barbados were leading 2-1, and going out of the tournament. Then, when they realised they were probably not going to score against Grenada's massed defence, they turned round, and deliberately scored an own goal, to level the scores. Grenada, themselves not being stupid, realised what was going on, and then attempted to score an own goal themselves. However, the Barbados players started defending their opponents goal to prevent this. In the last five minutes, therefore, spectators were treated to the incredible sight of a team defending their opponents goal against attackers desperately trying to score an own goal! Naturally, the game went to penalties, which Barbados won... This story is completely true, I assure you. Apparently it was being televised live, so I hope to see highlights of it soon! ======================================== From: email@example.com (Gary Spain) Subject: Re: Football Comedy Moments Date: Wed, 12 Oct 1994 09:34:03 GMT Garry Archer writes: > I saw this one on the old Saturday lunchtime show, "On The Ball" in England > back in the '70s, so forgive the hazy details: > > "On The Ball" showed highlights from a match in Ireland where one team was > so dominant that it seemed the entire game was being played in one half of > the pitch. In the empty half of the pitch, the goalkeeper was totally > bored and sought to amuse himself. Occasionally the camera would pan to > his goal and catch him swinging off his crossbar, "monkeying" around. > Another time the camera pans back and there is the 'keeper _sitting_ on > the top of his crossbar, right in the middle of the goal! Not long after > this, there is a tremendous crashing sound and the camera swings back... > the crossbar had snapped and the goal had collapsed! The 'keeper was in a > heap on top of the woodwork and nets. The referee comes running back up the > pitch and... red card!!! It was hilarious! The camera showed the 'keeper > walking off the pitch while everyone else was looking dumbounded at the goal. > > Magic moments! Garry, I remember it well. The keeper in question was Mick O'Brien of Athlone Town and it happened at St. Mels Park around 1975. I think the opposition were St Patricks Atletic. He did indeed get a red card and the crossbar was repaired. The game carried on. I remember being at a Limerick game that day and hearing about it on the radio. Everybody was in fits of laughter. Mick was a real character and a total clown. ============================================== From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Ariel Mazzarelli) Subject: Higuita :) Date: Sep 7, 1995 Just saw the save that Higuita made against England@wembley. Some English guy takes the ball 25 meters out, looks up and kicks it right to the middle of the goal. Higuita takes two steps back, with a look on his face that says "yeah right". Then as the ball drops, he dives forward, executes a nice butterfly kick and strikes the ball in midair with his heels, all the way out to the semicircle. Now there is a man that likes to give the fans something for the price of admission. ==================================== From: Stig Oppedal Subject: Wrong Time For An Own Goal Date: Feb 19, 1996 [FA Cup: Shrewsbury Town 0, Liverpool 4] If a player simply _has_ to score an own goal (and some players do), then some moments are better than others: - when you're 4-0 down: if you score an own goal than you can just grumble afterwards "typical of our bad luck", "just one of those days", etc. - in a typical end-of-season mid-table clash: nobody gives a damn, and if it's sufficeintly stunning you might even be awarded the "Man of The Match" champagne. The time for an own goal is _not_, however, when you play for Anonymous Town and you're 1-0 down against Liverpool in the 4th Round of the FA Cup, the most exciting thing to happen there since the Romans founded the place in 66 AD. A cross drifted over the penalty box from the left, and Collymore knocked it back across the 6-yard box. This would have been dangerous had a teammate of his been there, but they were apparently all off celebrating that no lower divison sides beginning with the letter "B" were left in the Cup. Instead, the 6-yard box was crowded with the Anonymous keeper and five - count 'em, FIVE - defenders. One of them decided to thump the ball into the net. His immediate reaction was to turn around in exasperation and indicate that he "was under pressure" and "had no choice", but upon seeing all the Liverpool players giving each others High Fives practically in their own half, this strategem quickly evaporated - along with Anonynous Town's chances of an upset. Should've saved it for the end-of-season mid-table clash against Boring Albion. ---------------------------------------- From: Stig Oppedal Subject: Re: Wrong Time For An Own Goal Date: Feb 20, 1996 Come to think of it, an even worse time to score an own goal is when you play for Anonymous Rovers and you're _leading_ 1-0 against Liverpool in the FA Cup - and there are 10 seconds of the game left. The corner came in from the right, the ball barely missed the head of Ian Rush and landed on the foot of a startled and soon to be utterly dejected Rovers defender and rolled into the net. I remember thinking when the TV-camera focused on his watery eyes and drooping mustache: "Imagine ruining the only chance of football glory this team is going to experience for the next 50 odd years." Of course, only half a year later Jack Walker started pouring money into the team, and five years later they won the league (no players with mustaches though). ===================================================== Subject: Re: Gothenburg goal against Bayern München Date: 11 Dec 1997 11:46:51 GMT From: email@example.com (Markian Jaworsky) Babbel cooly has control of the ball. Knowing full well noone is in the near vicinty, he looks up at his goalkeeper. Goalie is free, and Babbel trusts his instinct and goes for the backpass. Like a lazer beam accuracy, the pass is pin perfect. The ball rolls along the pitch smoothly and softly to the foot of the keeper. Goalkeeper, with IFK attackers no where in sight, has time to think. No need to play the first touch, rather control the ball and then explore all options. Keeper thinks about his style of control, just let the ball hit the foot? Potentially that ball could rebound away a slightly uncomfortable distance, or raise the foot and bring the foot down as the ball arrives to stop it completely. The ideal situation. Yes, professionalism is all about that time players spend evaluating each situation. Choosing the best option. But wait! Oh shit, took too long to think, ball rolls under the foot and over the line... ============================ Subject: Golazo of the week Date: Tue, 31 Mar 1998 20:21:08 -0800 From: steve d (firstname.lastname@example.org) Sheff Utd vs Port Vale on Saturday in the English Div 1. To put the goal in context, Sheff Utd are presently occupying one of the four play-off positions for entry to the Premier League and Port Vale are struggling against relegation so the game was of importance to both sides. The score is 1-0 to Sheff Utd in the 90th minute. Port Vale are attacking. The ball in intercepted and lofted down the left wing. Dean Saunders sprints after it and then checks as it appears that the ball will run into touch level with the penalty box. The Port Vale goalie thinks the same will happen so starts to run across to the left to get the ball into play quickly. However the pass has enough spin to slow the ball down and bring it to a stop inside the field of play. Saunders realises this and starts sprinting again. The goalkeeper just gets to the ball first and slides it into touch gets up and turns to run back to his goal. The ball rebounds off an advertising board and Saunders gathers the ball. He quickly looks around and realises he is the only Sheff Utd player for 40 metres so he takes a quick throw-in onto the goalkeepers back, collects the rebound and curls the ball around the goalkeeper from the touchline to score. 2-0. Cheekiest goal I've seen in a long time. Port Vale then scored almost directly from kick-off to leave the final score 2-1 so the goal turned out to be important. ================================ Subject: Re: Golazo of the Week Date: 14 Apr 1998 13:26:49 +0200 From: email@example.com (Bruce Scott TOK) And now for the anti-golazo of the week... Bayern vs 1860, the Munich derby. Bayern are up 1-0 on a nice diagonal cross by Michael Tarnat from the right side just beyond the corner of the box, which is chested down by Mehmet Scholl about 10 m away diagonally from the goalpost opposite to Tarnat. First bounce, low strike which near-posted the goalie. But that wasn't the anti-gem :-) At about 40' another Bayern attack had ended with the ball safely in the arms of the 1860 keeper. This gentleman thought to throw the ball out to a wing defender, but that guy was too closely marked. The keeper stopped his throw, hesitated a bit, and then flipped the ball onto the ground to get ready to kick it upfield. All this time Carsten Jancker of Bayern had been waiting in the right-hand blind spot of the keeper, near the end of the 5 m area on the goal line. As the ball was flipped down, Jancker raced up from behind to tap it away from the horrified keeper, who sprawled out trying to get the ball without fouling. Jancker got the ball away and must have touched it 5 times setting up his little roller along the ground to the center of the back of the net. Second funniest goal in Munich (the funniest was of course the Babbel-Kahn two-man own goal against Goteborg), it was essentially the decision. Thanking their crosstown rivals for such an Easter gift, Bayern are now thick in the hunt for the title. ====================================================== Subject: Re: [R/Report] Israel - Argentina, friendly Date: 17 Apr 1998 01:51:00 -0700 From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Ariel Mazzarelli) Michael Medved (email@example.com) dixit: [snip most of a good report] >And finally, giving a needed credit to the >extraordinary beauty of Ravivo's goal, a huge question is left near the acti- >vities of Herman Burgos around this ball -- how can a keeper of such a class >in such a top National team make such an awful blunder? Nobody has an answer. Well, you see, you don't know Burgos (spelled German, btw). He has given up enough pathetic goals to fill the careers of several goalkeepers. I will simply mention two famous lapses against Chilavert. The first one took place during the local championship when Velez was playing River, and there was a foul against a Velez player in the midfield, five to ten meters behind the central line on the Velez side of the field. While the players and the referee debated the issue and the usual bit of theater was taking place, Chilavert sprinted like a madman from his goal and kicked the stationary ball over 60 meters in the direction of River's goal, where a canonically hapless Burgos bactracked in ascending desperation that led to a resigned backflop as the ball sailed under the crossbar. Some players might have quietly hung up their boots after such a scene, but Burgos plowed on and a few weeks later Passarella repeated his typical, unforgivable mistake of putting Burgos in the goal in a serious match. In fact, the match was in Buenos Aires against Paraguay and it was a WC qualifier. Argentina is leading 1-0 in a tough game thanks to a brilliant free kick from Bati, when Paraguay gets a free kick on the semicircle. Up comes Chilavert to do his little show, which everybody had made a ridiculously big deal about before the game. So Chilavert kicks the ball and it isn't much of a kick, going around the wall, taking a bounce and going straight to where Burgos is standing. But this is Burgos, so instead of a typical save we see a goalkeeper that dives towards the post, AWAY from where the ball is going. If Burgos had stood still, the ball would have hit him on the stomach, but instead he dove down and from the prone position could only stab at it with his hand as it went into the net. After that game, Passarella took him off the squad. But now he has been teasing us with his presence and in the last couple of games, there we've had Burgos back in goal. Against Bulgaria he did fine, but now you tell us that he is back to being the same old Burgos. It's too bad, really. I saw Burgos recently on some tv show doing some rap song and he was pretty good. But we cannot take any more of his performances for the Seleccion.