From: (Garry Archer)
Subject: Re: Gresley strippers on TV!
Summary: A History of the Roman Empire, Part I
Keywords: Tongue in cheek.
Organization: 3M Health Information Systems, Wallingford CT
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 93 17:04:53 MDT

In article (Daniel Cohen) writes:
>An article on the BBC's "Standing Room Only" this week described
>newspaper reports of complaints made to Swadlincote Council concerning
>Gresley Rangers of the West Midlands Ladies League. Apparently the
>ladies were seen revealing all when swapping shirts on the pitch! SRO
>showed a picture of the team in it's new strip (a green and white
>chessboard affair) but unfortunately didn't show any on-field action.
>So, Garry, tell us more about the naughty goings on in your (ex) part
>of the world??? Maybe I'll move :-)

Well, Dan, you've gone and let the cat out of the bag now...  EVERYONE
is going to want to move to South Derbyshire after reading the above!

Now I suppose you want the __full_story__ of such naughty goings on...

My (ex) part of the world is well known for its quaint and ancient
customs, like the Antler Dance or the Dressing Of The Wells.  The
ladies (no, not laddies) at Gresley Rangers are just continuing one
of the area's lesser known customs and applying it to a more modern arena.

The custom is derived from the Roman occupation of Britain (known as Pritan
back then).  The Romans were astounded by the ferocity of the Ancient
Britons in their defence of their homeland as the natives daubed themselves
in blue paint to look all the more vicious in their attacks of Roman invaders.

Around 99 A.D., it is said that the local Roman governor of the area known
as Mercia near Little Chester (know known as Derby) by the name of Rootus
Maximus was intrigued by the local warriors.  He decided to have some fun.

Rootus Maxiumus arranged for a raid on a British village know known as
Repton ("hill of the Hrype tribe").  The commanding officer, a centurion
known as Aggripa Miadikka, ordered that all the villagers be slaughtered
except for women aged 15 to 30.  Eleven such ladies were found.  Knowing
the governor's propensity for "knowing" as many young ladies as possible,
especially in one orgy, er, I mean session, the ambitious young Aggripa
considered the possible rewards of a big promotion on delivering such a prize.

Rootus Maximus was indeed very pleased with the prisoners bought back
by Aggripa.  In a flash of fantasy, the governor, remembering the Britons
daubed in blue paint for war, ordered that the female prisoners be daubed
in green and white paint in a chequerboard pattern.  Green for fertility
and white for virtue.  In other words, Rootus Maximus got a woody for
"knowing" fertile young virgins --- if they were or not didn't matter,
he just liked the fantasy.

So the women were stripped naked and painted as requested and sent into the
governor's chambers.  Rootus Maximus was indeed on three legs with delight
at the sight of the 11, buxom wenches in their green and white paint.

As he was about to have his way with the first, he had totally forgotten
that these "ladies" were as war-like as their men folk and would take
any opportunity to attack the enemy if ever it arose.   And "arise" it
did.  At the "height" of Rootus Maximus's passion, one enterprising young
woman, stole his dagger and swooped to cut off the governor's main thrust...

The women attacked with more vigour at the sight of Roman blood and
killed the governor, asphyxiating him with his own decapitated "head".
Then they proceeded to escape from the chambers killing all the Roman
sentries who tried to stop them.

The women escaped from the Roman camp and headed for a hilltop known
as Greslerium.  There they washed off the green and white paint in
a babbling brook.  So proud were they of their escape that they made
a pact that they would return to Greslerium each year and celebrate.

This they did, and for centuries hence, the ladies of old Greslerium
have symbolised their independence of men by stripping off their
green and white chequerboard costumes.   In modern times, this event
became so popular that the ladies have taken to do it every Saturday
afternoon during the cold autumn and winter months as a further symbol
of their bravery and victory over men.

Well, Dan... you did ask :-)

|                     Garry Archer Esq.                     |
|                                                                              |
=========| Gresley Rovers Football Club ("The Moatmen"), founded 1882 |=========