Oct 16, 2001 Best Cheaters Ever - New Entry (Futbolmetrix) Oct 31, 2001 Asia vs Europe (Bob Dahlgren) Nov 4, 2001 Three great saves and a list of great goalies (Lleo) Nov 7, 2001 Serse Cosmi and "Big Brother" ("Riffster") Nov 8, 2001 Iranian clubs (sjevid, Christopher Horymski, Sven Mischkies) Nov 9, 2001 Iran-Ireland ("Nearco") Nov 14, 2001 The Ronaldo Virus (Victoria Barrett) Nov 16, 2001 The Romario-Baggio doctrine (Bordon Gone) Nov 19, 2001 World Cup Mascots ("Jobrano2") Jan 1, 2002 Louis Van Gaal (Jeroen) Dec 3, 2001 Scottish Football vs English Football (Paul C) Dec 28, 2001 Antonio Oliveira's Resignation (Petrovich) Jan 15, 2002 Ireland: World Cup Darkhorses? (by MMcC) Jan 16, 2002 Andriy Shevchenko: Terminator (by Jeroen) Jan 17, 2002 England 2002 vs England 1966 (by Glen) Jan 18, 2002 Goalscoring Referees (by Lleo, J.Stephen Thompson) Jan 20, 2002 Today I Failed in my Duty as a Football Fan (by steve d) Jan 21, 2002 Bad Away "Ends" (by steve d) Feb 27, 2002 Blatter's Promise (by James) Feb 26, 2002 Subdivions of RSS (by "Riffster", Renaud Dreyer) Feb 1, 2002 Celtic vs Rangers: A "Neutral" Perspective (by John Rose) ================================================== From: Futbolmetrix Date: 16 October 2001 Subject: Best Cheaters Ever - New Entry October 14, 2001 After a couple of years' absence, the Torino derby is back with a vengeance. Juve strolls through the first half, building an easy 3-0 lead. Torino looks like the Serie B team they were last year, and likely will be again next year. But a derby is a derby, and Torino players throw into the hustle the "vecchio cuore granata", the old Torino heart, the only thing that can compensate their manifest technical inferiority. Coupled with a criminal nonchalance on the part of the Juve players, they slowly climb back into the match with Lucarelli, and Ferrante, and Maspero completes a remarkable comeback with 8 minutes to go. Juve has still time to get back into the lead. With two minutes to go, the ref Borriello gives Juve a penalty for a pretty undisputable foul by Delli Carri on Tudor. Ten Torino players immediately surround te ref: probably they wanted to ask him where he got his latest haircut... or something like that. Here is where our hero comes on stage. While all his teammates are busy arguing with the ref, Maspero slowly walks towards the penalty spot, and starts digging a little hole right in front of where the ball will be placed. Salas puts the ball on the spot, but doesn't notice anything. More arguing, and Maspero walks up to the spot once again and continues digging the hole. Only at this point does Tacchinardi notice that something is fishy, and tells Maspero to go away. Maspero replies "I'm going, I'm going", but by now the damage is done. Witnesses say that at the time the ball was kicked, there was a 4 cm hole right in fron of it. If this were not enough, while Salas is taking the penalty, Maspero shouts "You'll miss it!". Salas takes the penalty, and it sails absurdly high over the crossbar. The match ends 3-3, one of the most dramatic derbies in history. In terms of creativity, originality, wit, plus the added drama of the "outmatched rebels against the Evil Empire", this must rank as one of the best cheating acts in history. Hats off to Maspero. Seriously. Daniele =================================================== From: Bob Dahlgren Date: 31 October 2001 Subject: Re: More problems for Roy Keane and Ireland email@example.com (Philip Lennox Beineke) wrote in message news:<9ro5ta$ls0$1@usenet.Stanford.EDU>... > Civil response to a scathing attack; maybe I have misjudged you. > > Still, I've re-read your post about how easily *any* Euro second > seed (a group that includes Austria and Slovenia) would dispatch > *any* Asian opponent, and it smacks of being nothing more than an > untestable boast. > > Maybe you saw the Confederations Cup and Kirin Cup (I didn't) and found > some gaping whole that sets the Japanese behind; however, they allowed a > total of one goal in seven matches. The results offer precious little > evidence to support your claim, and you didn't offer any analysis > to back it up. > > P Phil: I always try to be civil, even when it comes to talking football, which as Bill Shankly right said, "isn't a matter of life and death: it's much more serious." I wasn't "boasting" when I talked about Ireland's chances - I'm not an Ireland fan, so I have no reason to boast; I was merely assessing the records. You see, while I'm not a gambling man, the odds are fairly clear in this case and the results are eminently testable. That's what the World Cup Finals are all about. Asian teams have been reasonably well represented in the past two decades and have done consistently poorly, against European sides and others. I know that the impersonal quality of the Internet makes this tricky, but did it ever occur to you that I actually live in Asia - and have also lived in the Near East - and so have had ample opportunity to watch these teams. I challenge you to watch a full 90 minutes of J League play and tell me that it's of the same standard as Serie A or Premiership or Bundesliga - hell, it's not even as good as the Belgian First Division - or to tell me that you've enjoyed watching it. You want analysis, okay? Iran - I'll be blunt - are crap. I wouldn't need a FIFA coaching badge to be able to shut them down. Their back four is hopeless. They're all about hitting on the break, with speedy and useful strikers and wingers. Play them a little deeper and it's all over. This is precisely what Mick McCarthy's side will do. Strange things happen in football, but based on the respective records, this is no contest. Japan: also hopeless. Have you ever seen Kawaguchi (who's name ironically means "river mouth") defend a corner? His back four is similarly of a Keystone Cops variety. The Japanese are all about athleticism; they'll run all day. I play every weekend for a hilariously misnamed team called "MUFF" (that's Miyazaki United Foreign Football, you wags!) and we regularly take younger and fitter Japanese sides apart with the old "Route One" approach. European sides will, I fear, do likewise to the Japanese next year. Look, I'd love to see developing soccer sides, well...develop. But they have to do so on their own merit, not through political machinations and manouvering from FIFA. So far, Asian sides have only been in the World Cup to make up the numbers, and that's not good enough. I'm all in favor of socialist international development schemes when it comes to life and death issues of health care, economics, education and so on. But with footie, I'm a "bootstraps" guy. Cheers, bd ==================================================== From: Lleo Date: 4 November 2001 Subject: Three great saves and a list of great goalies Just felt like talking about goalkeepers :) Three of the greatest saves I have seen, in no particular order, nor mattering the importance of the games. 1) World Cup 1970 - Brasil 1-0 England The play started with cross from the right side of Brasil's attack (now WHO was it? Jairzinho, Tostão, Carlos Alberto?). With microscopic precision, it is aimed at Pelé in the goalmouth, who outjumps his English marker while still staying at enough distance from Banks (who, wisely, has no intention of trying to cut the cross). Pelé heads it down to the right corner, but it could as well be considered a kick, given its strenght. Banks, who at the moment of the cross was at his left post, had not stopped running since the cross till the header and is still midway towards the far post. The ball still hits the floor and goes up, which only makes harder an already daunting task. Banks jumps, his arms outstretched, and gives that little punch underneath the ball, making it go 0,0001 cm away from the post. Corner kick. 2) World Cup 1982 - Italy 3-2 Brasil So the Italians are winning. Final moments of a crucial second round match in a group of giants (Italy, Argentina and Brasil). Last minute cross, Oscar, almost in the line of Italy's small area heads it down to Zoff's left corner. The Italian, in the middle of the goal, lightning-reacts and dives. He doesn't palm nor punch the ball away. He STOPS it. Oscar was what, 7 meters away from the goal, and when he headed half of the Brasilian population screamed "É GOOOOOOOOOOOOOL". After Zoff's save, the gol scream is interrupted midway, substituted by muted amazement ("how did he do that", thinks one) and some swear words ("ITALIANO DE M..." shouts another). Every time I see the picture of Zoff lifting the World Cup, I can't help but think "bastard... but you made up for that". I mean, can you imagine Valdir Peres in Zoff's place...? Final whistle, it's Italy 3-2, they're in, we're out. 3) Friendly - England 0-0 Colombia Long distance shot from outside the Colombian penalty area. While a hard shot, it is mostly harmless, as it is going straight to where Higuita is standing. He could simply raise his arms and stop it. But that is too simple for the Clown Prince of Goalkeepers (more likely, the Joker of the Goalkeepers). He looks at the ball, makes some mental calculations and goes for the obvious: jumps forwards, knees bent, body horizontally positioned, and with his ankles, he kicks it away. If it's too hard to picture (and my description probably doesn't help a lot), it's enough to say that it's known as the "scorpion save" for a reason. Now, a list of great goalies, loosely decade-wise, by no means exhaustive, and with glaring omissions: 60s: Banks, Yashin, Gilmar, Manga, Cejas, Mazurkiewicz 70s: Maier, Fillol, Gatti (at least he was fun), Zoff, Leão 80s: Dasaev, Zenga 90s: Schmeichel, Chilavert, Preud'Homme Those who have seen more pre-mid-80s, please feel free to add to this list the aforementioned glaring omissions. -- Lléo =================================================== From: Riffster Date: 7 November 2001 Subject: Re: I don't like this "Big Brother" biz "Victoria Barrett"
wrote in message news:firstname.lastname@example.org... > [Talking about "Big Brother", the Perugia prima donna, Serse Cosmi, is > reminded of that show as he hates when t.v. cameras focus on him during > Serie A matches -- apparently he also dislikes being called the "Vortex" > because of his match-time gyrations, toing-and-froing with each Perugia > move...thought you might like that especially, Jackie :)] Cosmi easily lifted the mantle of "Maniac of Serie A" from the comparatively mild-mannered Alberto Malesani, ex-nutcase at Parma and now resident sideline stalker at Verona. Cosmi has a wild-eyed stare that makes you wonder if Rasputin had some relatives who managed to get south before the Big Russki Putsch. I guess he wears the baseball cap to hide his baldness, but I really wonder if there might not be antennae under there too.....beep beep. Sorry Jackie, but you have a Bull Goose Loon for a manager. Which is okay as far as I am concerned - makes for good entertainment. But if were a sideline spectator, I would wear track shoes just in case Cosmi manages to get ahold of a sharp object and runs amok screaming about conspiracies and cabals and the like...... > > 06 November, 2001 19:04 GMT > > MILAN (Reuters) - Perugia coach Serse Cosmi thinks being on the bench in a > Serie A match is now akin to appearing in the fly-on-the-wall television > show "Big Brother". > > Cosmi, an excitable and colourful personality, is unhappy with the constant > attention of television cameras focusing on the bench during games. > > "It is like being in the 'Big Brother' house with cameras and microphones > everywhere and with the attention concentrated ever more on the coach's > behaviour and what he says, rather than on the game on the pitch," Cosmi > told Italian news agency ANSA. Hmmmm - this is mass entertainment Signore Cosmi - you ARE in Big Brother's house. What did you think this was - a retreat for 40,000 hermits??? > The Perugia coach, a diminutive figure with a goatie beard, who always >wears > a baseball cap, regularly features on television highlights shows, leaping > around the bench with an animated expression on his face. Animated is one word -- "pazzesco" is another one word that comes to mind. > > But after a late goal from Marco Di Vaio condemned his team to a 2-1 > defeat > at Parma on Sunday, Cosmi reacted angrily to close-range television cameras. > > "It is the norm now to present the public with situations that are simply > emotive and not rational and this has unpleasant consequences," Cosmi said. > > "But I don't want to be the centre of attention and the fact is that my > behaviour was the same when I was coaching (lower division clubs) > Pontevecchio and Arezzo. > > "My only aim is to become a good football coach and to give my best in every > situation," he added. Well, I can sympathize with anger and yes, the managers of today put up with a lot of stress. But in the end this is just soccer and not war, and any action's that use violence as a means of resolution are liable to end up being punished (and should be.) Cameras should not invade the private life of anyone, but when one is a manager of a soccer team and is on the sidelines it is absurd to think that the camera cannot focus on the manager of the losing team after a controversial loss. A kinder, gentler broadcast....a kinder, gentler media...... I can see it now..... Director: Okay camera three, full time, focus on Mr. Straight Jacket.... Cameraperson: I can't do that.... Director: Why not? Cameraperson: Because I would be invading his privacy.... Director: Hey amico, this is a soccer game, not the toilet....just get the camera on Cosmi, okay? Cameraperson: He is going completely nuts, he might not like it..... Director: I could give a well-fed Perugia rat's ass - get the shot! Cameraperson: He is not going to like that. Director: Well, I will send him a candygram as an apology - get the shot or your next assignment WILL be cleaning out the toilet at the station. Cameraperson: (starts to turn camera towards Cosmi) Director: That's more like it. Cameraperson: I can't do it....I can't do it.. Director: WHY?!?!? Don't you know you culo is finito if you don't? Cameraperson: (making choking sounds) My culo is already finito - he just shoved your best portable camera where the sole don't shine.......AAAAAIIIIIIAAAA. - Paul "ooooo" Mettewie ========================================================= From: sjevid Subject: Iranian clubs (was Re: Seriously, though...) Date: 8 November 2001 Victoria Barrett wrote in message news:email@example.com... > Ooh! The Dinamo Bucuresti of Iran! Hey, sjevid, come to think of it I know > next to nothing of clubs in Iran (or their histories). You wouldn't care >to > run-down some of them for us, with a little local spicey comment, would >you? :) graag! This is some info on Iranian clubs. I do my best to be unbiased. The first fully professional league of Iran started last week! Before that we always had semi professional clubs. Most clubs are subsidized by government but unlike EE countries, Iranians even if they are opposed to the government they still love their clubs and it they consider as duty of government to fund their clubs. Some clubs are owned by (state run) industrial companies and they have really ugly names (see the end). Esteghlal Tehran - the blue half of Tehran. They are the best team in the universe, they are also good at football. Twice Champions of Asia (that is an Asian record, along with 4 other clubs). They are the oldest football club in Iran (1945). Before 1979 revolution they were called 'Taj' which means 'crown', hence they are linked to the Royal family but that is rubbish. So they changed the name to 'Esteghlal' which means 'independence'. Their matches with the red scum of Tehran overflows the 120,000 capacity of Azadi stadium. Their supporters are the better of the society. They are honest, peace loving, humane, passionate, benevolent, smart, hard working , wise, rich , beautiful, strong, healthy, noble. They go to heaven. Perspolis Theran - the rotten red scum, also known as 'long' (an ugly filthy piece of red mop replete with dirt, used in old style Iranian bathes). Their official name after revolution is 'Pirouzi' (meaning 'victory') but nobody uses that (I don't know why). They are a mutated club founded sometime in 60s when all the players of another shit club decided to move to find a new place to display their arrogance. Never champions of Asia (obviously). But they have won the domestic title more than every body else, by refereeing and intimidating and bribery and loads of penalties and all that (obviously). Nobody knows whether they have more supporters or Esteghlal, but we know that their fans have less TVs so on the day of the derbey against Esteghlal , most of the stadium is bleeding red, and they are the ones responsible for the foul language. Until very recently they had more influential government elements in their board so they had more money. That is why they grabbed all the (allegedly) better players from poor clubs (Ali Daei, Karim Bagheri, Mahdavikia, Karimi) but now as the small clubs learnt to sell their players to foreign clubs themselves, they are in deep financial trouble. Paas Tehran - A club run by police. They have been once champions of Asia but they have ZERO fans. That is pathetic after 30-40 years, and perhaps they should change their city. They play boring football. Never liked them but better than scum any day. Saipa Tehran - A club bearing the name of a factory that produces cute cars, but still they have very little crowd. Sad. These are the only clubs that have ever won the league. The rest of the clubs are sub toppers and they may eventually win a cup competition. I just mention some funny names of the clubs competing in Iranian league: Teraktor Sazi Tabriz : tractor manufacturing of Tabriz Poly Acril Isfahan : poly acryl of Isfahan Bargh Shiraz: electricity of Shiraz Ab o Khak Ahvaz : water and soil of Ahvaz And finally the most mesmerizing: Gach Khorasan: chalk of Khorasan ================================================================ From: Christopher Horymski Subject: Re: Iranian clubs (was Re: Seriously, though...) Date: 9 November 2001 Sez Jackie Tellier > Wow! This was so cool, to get the lowdown dirty on Iranian club teams....who > knew? It's encouraging to know that, despite how different cultures may be, most large cities will contain a) The Greatest Club Known to Man b) The Cross Town Scum of the Earth c) The Cute Lower Divison club everyone sort of likes but probably can't name more than two players d) (optional) some vestigial of the previous regime Chris [ a) supporter] ================================================================== From: Sven Mischkies Subject: Re: Iranian clubs (was Re: Seriously, though...) Date: 9 November 2001 Christopher Horymski wrote: > Sez Jackie Tellier > > Wow! This was so cool, to get the lowdown dirty on Iranian club teams....who > > knew? > > It's encouraging to know that, despite how different cultures may be, > most large cities will contain a) The Greatest Club Known to Man HSV > b) The Cross Town Scum of the Earth St.Pauli > c) The Cute Lower Divison club St.Pauli, Altona 93, Concordia, ... :) > everyone sort of likes Oh, than i have to take out St.Pauli. :) > but probably can't name more than two players 0, to be honest of Altona and Concordia. :) > d) (optional) some vestigial of the previous regime Not in Hamburg. :) Ciao, SM ============================================================= From: Nearco Subject: Play-off predictions Date: 9 November 2001 1st leg Ire 2-0 Iran 2nd leg Ire 1-3 Iran Agg 3-3 Ire wins on away goals Iran collapse in first leg and Ireland win handily, but Roy Keane aggravates injury late in game and is out for 2nd leg. In 2nd leg a reinspired Iran run rampant in front of fanatical home crowd go into early 2-0 lead, shellshocked Ireland struggle to hang on. Ireland manage goal midway through 2nd half. Iran reply soon after with another goal and a battered Ireland hang on as Iran lays siege to Irish goalmouth for last 10 minutes seeking elusive 4th goal. Tempers flare, a player from each team sent-off in 2nd half. McCarthy and Blazevic have heated exchange after match. Blazevic tell Mick Mc to "go back to Burnley you psuedo-Paddy", McCarthy accuses Blazevic of crimes against humanity. Blazevic sucker punches Mick who stumbles back dazed. Mick replies in dazed state with a haymaker. Blazevic ducks and McCarthy's wild swing catches president of Iranian Football Assoc knocking him out cold. Big mellee ensues. Revolutionary Gaurd is called in. Irish team escapes on team bus and make mad dash for mountains west of Tehran and are eventually smuggled across border into Armenia by sympathetic Kurds. That's how I see it turning out anyways MMcC ======================================================= From: Victoria Barrett Subject: Re: Play-off Full Time Scores Date: 14 November 2001 "Nightswimmer" wrote in message news:firstname.lastname@example.org... > that's no reason at all, probably just some psychological game. If they > weren't fit enough, they wouldn't have played. And who has seen the first > 15 minutes, knows that not one czech player was sick. After that first > quarter, Belgium was the better team, and has earned the qualification. > They only lost one game in the whole campaign, and beat the nr10 of the > ranking twice. You'll be delighted to know that medical science has discovered and named this pesky-prematch condition. It is henceforth called The Ronaldo Virus. Symptons: Sudden dizziness before kick-off, inability to jump over bald goalkeepers, and fights with girlfriends just before the match of your life begins. The Ronaldo Virus is highly contagious to your teammates, as the ones unaffected, flee from the ones who are on the pitch. Ain't science grand? :) =========================================================== From: Bordon Gone Subject: The Romario-Baggio doctrine Date: 16 November 2001 The idea of not getting to see Roberto Baggio and Romario in another WC has disturbed me recently, after so many years or months I have preached that Romario was hostory in the Selecao. Now I believe that no coach for Brazil or Italy has the right to keep Romario or Roberto Baggio out of the WC [for the economists: they are WC public goods!]. I even admit that if Romario is not playing as well as Luisao or Franca or Edilson, he must be benched, but his greater than life figure simply cannot be left out of the event. After all, one can make a case that Luisao [Del Vecchio] might be more useful than Romario [Roberto Baggio]- after all Corinthians' [Roma's] rural striker is more fit and stronger than Vasco's [Breascia's] injury prone prima donna. But even the most rational adepts of utilitarian football will have to admit that the case for Luisao [Del Vecchio] over Romario [Roberto Baggio] is no better than slight. Certainly not enough to keep the Baixinho [Divino Codino] out of the World Cup. ============================================================ From: Jobrano2 Subject: [POLL] Favourite World Cup Mascot? Date: 19 November 2001 [ ] World Cup Willie (England, 1966) A cuddly lion wearing a Union Jack football shirt. [ ] Juanito (Mexico, 1970) I think Juanito is supposed to be a chubby Mexican child, but if anything he looks Oriental. Wears a Mexican hat and a Mexico football strip, the green shirt of which is so small on him that his belly button is exposed for all and sundry to see. [ ] Tip and Tap (West Germany, 1974) Two youngsters, a tall blonde one and a short dark haired one (maybe a Turkish immigrant, lol) stood with their arms round each other wearing the white shirts and black shorts of West Germany. Don't know which was Tip and which was Tap. [ ] Gauchito (Argentina, 1978) A young boy wearing an Argentina football strip. Nothing wrong with this in itself, but take into account that he also wears a string on sun hat and has a sailor style scarf tied around his neck. [ ] Naranjito (Spain, 1982) A giant orange. With limbs. And a face. Would look more in place on the side of a jar of marmalade. [ ] Pique (Mexico, 1986) A little man with a chilli for a head (his head is so pointy it actually tears through his Mexican hat) and a giant moustache. For some reason, doesn't wear his nation's national football strip. Instead, Pique wears an all red shirt with a yellow and black v-neck collar. So that's where Galatasaray got the idea for this season's all red third away kit. [ ] Ciao (Italy, 1990) Erm.....how do I describe Ciao? Well, I suppose you could say he is a stick man. Each of his limbs are coloured in the green, white and red of the Italian flag, and.....erm....he has a football for a head. That's about it. [ ] Striker (USA, 1994) A dog in a white USA football shirt. Not to be confused with The Sun's comic strip character of the same name. [ ] Footix (France, 1998) A cockerel with "France 98" emblazoned across his chest. Looks like he should be in a Sonic the Hedgehog video game. There you have it. Personally, as rubbish as I've made him sound, Ciao holds a place in my heart, as Italia 90 was the first World Cup I watched. However, looking at all the mascots side by side, Pique is the one that really stands out. ================================================================= From: Jeroen Subject: Re: Fergie hints at non-retirement but do ManU still want him? Date: 01/01/2002 "Jackie Tellier" wrote: >Dutch magazine Voetball International has chosen Louis Van Gaal as the >most-losing coach of 2001. Meanwhile Sportsweek defined him as the most >arrogant of the season. Van Gaal's Holland did not manage to qualify for >next World Cup finals. > LVG is stuck in his own quagmire of trying to show everyone what a football genius he is. The always-present egomania reached epic proportions when he forced Rivaldo one of the world's top 3 playmakers while playing behind the strikers, onto the left wing to prove a point. It has only continued to escalate with his idiotic tactical decisions while manager of Holland (Hasselbaink as a winger, bringing on van Hooijdonk instead of a defender while up in the second half against Portugal, etc.), and subsequent refusal to own up to them. Of course it was all the players fault! That you were unable to manage them worth a damn and pool together the collected talents one of the most technically sound nations of footballers in the world has nothing to do with Holland's failure to qualify for WC2002! Idiot. On another note, Louis's head has literally swelled to immense proportions since the glory days of Ajax. Seriously, someone should construct a cranial growth chart starting from 1995's legitimately great manager to present day LVG Bighead. It's like the head of a boar or something. =================================================================== From: Paul C Subject: Re: Scottish football Date: 03/12/2001 On 3 Dec 2001 12:34:37 -0800, email@example.com (Neil Norton) wrote: >In my personal opinion I think the Scottish League is too weak and >pointless because almost every season it is between two teams Celtic >and Rangers who fight it out for the Scottish Premier League I agree. It's so unlike the the competitive nature of the English Premiership: 1993 Manchester United 1994 Manchester United 1995 -Blackburn Rovers 1996 Manchester United 1997 Manchester United 1998 -Arsenal 1999 Manchester United 2000 Manchester United 2001 -Manchester United >If you look at Scottish clubs in European competitions they never get >past the first or second round of a competiton, and either Celtic or >Rangers ever get past the first group stage of the Champions League, Yes they never get past the first or second round. Well they do, but only if they're given an easy draw - like getting to play the English champions. You know, like the last time Rangers just missed out on a place in the final aided being drawn against the English champions - and even then they only just managed to beat the English champions home and away. Pathetic, really. >Even in International competition Scotland fail to impres. Yep, especially that last game they played at Wembley. Only outplaying England 1-0 was pitiful. >I mean look >at their track record in both World Cup > and European Championships >failure to get past the first stage, >and this year Scotland could not >even beat Latvia by a big margin to get either a play-off or automatic >qualfication to Japan and Korea. Yep. Only just managing to beat Latvia, whilst England really showed them how to clinch a place in the finals - get a last minute gift from a referee to scrape a home draw against Greece and at the same time rely on Finland to hold Germany to a draw. Truly awesome. I can't understand how England failed end up amongst the top seeds for the finals after that display. And because of the duplicity of FIFA England ends up in the group of death against awesome countries such as Sweden - the same country that all England decided was crap when Scotland put them out of the last WC Qualifiers. It's a funny old game, and no mistake. >An unambitious leauge structure and teams is a knock-on effect on >nations performance in international competition in my opinion. I think you're right Neil. I think Scotland should take stock of itself and follow the lead set by England's international successes over the past 30 years or so. Successes such as .....erm well I can't actually think of any but I'm sure there must be some. After all as everyone in England knows, they are the best in the world as was recently proved by that 5-1 win in Germany. >I feel that the Scottish League should be disbanded and the teams like >Celtic and Rangers should try their luck in other leauges such as >England or maybe even in in Holland because it is a pointless >competition and little ambition or brakethrough happens. >I personally would like to hear replies from Scots about my message, >and waht they think of their leauges. You've made some marvellously original points Neil. Like England, you're in a leauge of your own. ================================================================== From: Petrovich Subject: Re: Petrovich must be delighted Date: 28/12/2001 "Victoria Barrett" escreveu na mensagem news:a0girr$kn67l$1@ID-121719.news.dfncis.de... Delighted, Vic? Well, yes and no. Let me explain. > LISBON, Dec 27 (AFP) - Benfica coach Antonio Oliveira announced his > resignation here Thursday, describing his decision to quit as the best move > for the club. This is the part I'm not too happy about. For three sets of reasons: 1) 'Toni', as he is widely known here, is one of the rare ones among Benfica people that doesn't share the egocentrism, megalomania, bullying and arrogance that are the trademark of the club. Just as an example; last Summer while the directors were boasting that Benfica would simply annihilate opposition at home and in Europe (kindly forgetting that in order to annihilate you first have to qualify and also that opponents might not be very much in the mood of being annihalted), he was one of the few that tried to put down such baseless euphoria, warning that you don't turn a club in shambles into a sucess story overnight and that it takes considerable more time and hard work to build a winning side than to make a bunch of flashy signings coupled with explosive claims in the press. 2) Toni was in fact a member of the endangered species of managers that actually have an emotional bond to their club. He really loved Benfica - he's been at the club since his playing days - and was always known for his sportsmanship and fair-play. Loads of things make Benfica loathable but Toni isn't among them. 3) And actually he was such a nice guy that he didn't have hand on the mercenary prima-donnas and overrated players that fill the Benfica ranks. If, as it's been rumoured, they name the arrogant but astute and harsh disciplinarian Jose Mourinho, former assistant of Bobby Robson at Sporting, Porto and Barcelona and nowadays manager of Leiria, they are capable of becoming a much more dangerous side - and a real contender for next season, if he's given space and autonomy to build the team (something Toni didn't have). > Oliveira has come under pressure from disgruntled fans of the Portuguese > giants, who are languishing five points off the lead in the championship > behind bitter city rivals Sporting Lisbon. That's the part I'm delighted with :-)))))) Pedro =================================================================== From: Shove the pig's foot a little further in the fire [MMcC] Subject: Re: DARK HORSE candidate to go all the way in WC 2002 Date: 15 January 2002 07:03 On Mon, 14 Jan 2002 10:34:22 +0000, Colin Beirne wrote: >Ireland and Senegal Interesting that both Colin and Marcos have tipped Ireland as a dark horse to win the WC. While I admire ye're optimism lads, Ireland winning the WC would involve some, nay all of the following...... A couple of mudslides Gallons of Holy Water Possible earthquake Well attended nightly vigils and month long novenas Several unforntunate plane crashes The intervention of a divine being An couple of unhygenic team chefs and the eboli virus More Holy Water The sacrifice of copius amounts of virgins to Huitzilopochtli. Busload of blind referees The introduction of a goal that automatically enlarges to 15ft tall and 45ft wide when Irish players kick a ball in it's general direction. Even more Holy Water And even if all that happened we'd still need for Roy Keane to a) be fit and uninjured b) not collect more that 2 yellow cards. which is asking a lot. ===================================================================== From: Jeroen Subject: Re: Shevchenko v. Vieri Date: 16 January 2002 04:32 "Victoria Barrett" wrote: >Hard call. VERY hard. What made me think about it (rather than >Sheva/Owen/Henry etc.) were the similar leagues, and styles. Who would you >choose and why? They are both Terminators on the pitch, but ultimately it's Shevchenko whose body upholds the metal compactor of Serie A football better, making him the T-1000 to Vieri's T-800. That said, as long as Vieri is healthy and has a good playmaker (a John Connor?) feeding him, he can overwhelm damn near any defense on the planet. But as far as being the ultimate one man wrecking crew goes, that would be Sheva. This completely out there analogy is brought to you by a lack of sleep and a recent viewing of the Terminator 2: Judgement Day DVD. ===================================================================== From: Glen Subject: Re: Michael Owen: "Better than '66" Date: 17 January 2002 05:16 "Victoria Barrett" wrote in message > Don't know what to think, but unless they win it all, it's just in the > realm of speculation. Anyone hear that quote in the UK? Can't find > it thus far. > > I reckon he meant that they'd match up well against the team of 66 if they played them now. With a few of the 66 players passing away and the average age being a bit higher than the current England squad fitness may play a factor and next year World Cup winners (if we are to believe the English media) should be able to pull a victory out of the bag thanks to a 98th minute Beckham free-kick.;-) ===================================================================== From: J. Stephen Thompson Subject:Re: Referee scores goal Date: 18 January 2002 20:29 "Victoria Barrett" wrote: >Ref of 18 years experience had a momentary brain fart, and decided to score >a goal when the ball came to him. Instea of laughing it off, he pointed to >signal a goal had been scored. Few people other than he were amused, and his >local FA asked him to resign. Question: Have you ever seen a ref score a >goal? > Kind of. In a 1999 Italian Cup match between Inter and Lazio, Ze Elias (then with Inter) took a shot from just outside the box...only to see it deflect off the referee and into the goal. The referee ruled the goal as valid, with the apparent explanation being that the referee has to be considered "part of the pitch" in such situations. Anyway, that late flukey goal away at the Stadio Olimpico set the stage for a outright thrashing of Lazio at the San Siro, with Inter eventually pressing on to the final and losing to Parma. I think that's how it turned out, anyway. I'm sure Riff will correct me if I'm wrong. ====================================================================== From: Lléo Subject: Re: Referee scores goal Date: 18 January 2002 20:14 Yes, and in a derby... But it was accidental. And ok, I haven't actually 'seen' it. Santos vs Palmeiras, Paulista league of 1984 or 1985. 90th minute, Santos is 2-1 up and a free kick is appointed to Palmeiras, in front of the area. It is poorly taken, and the ball is going away from the post. It would go out, but an extremely poorly positioned ref sees it hitting his shin all of a sudden and going in (the goalie, of course, had no time to react)... He was surrounded by Santistas, while a Palmeiras player went in the midst of the confusion to shake his hand... 2-2 and game over. But have you ever seen a ref being *sent off*? Again in the Paulista league, Corinthians vs XV de Jaú. 1986 I think, well, mid-80s. I don't know what propped a certain confusion, but Dimas (otherwise anonymous XV player) simply took away the red card from the ref's hand and "carded" him, while pointing him the tunnel's general direction... He didn't actually leave, of course... -- Lléo ===================================================================== From: steve d Subject: Today I failed in my duty as a football fan Date: 20 January 2002 00:25 We all have dreams in life. We have all resided in the gutter hoping to reach for the stars. Occasionally we accomplish tasks that would have tested Hercules, conquering our own Cerberus (Cerberi ?). At other times simple tasks must be performed. Subconciously we go about our daily lives achieving these. Due dilligence must however be observed. Today I failed. I failed my dreams, my duties, my simple task. I failed football fans across the World. The adrenalin rush of football is enough for any sane minded individual but in the game a defining moment arrives that allows the fan to be lifted to a higher plane of ecstasy. He has the chance to touch the ball. Be it from a mishit cross, a header tipped round the post, a shot deflected wide by a last second charge, the ball leaves the field of play. Now is the time to act - touch the ball and you become part of the play. The ensemble cast has written a walk-on part for you. The moment is yours. In 25 years of footballing watching/supporting/despairing and ecstasising I have never touched the match ball. At half-time today I moved seats at the Liverpool-Southampton game to sit next to a mate right at the front of the famous Spion Kop, just 1 metre to the right of the goal. And in the second half it happened. A powerful shot was deflected off a defenders leg straight at me. I could have met it with a powerful forehead clearing the imminent danger of spilt bovril and pulverised meat pie. I could have practised my near post flick on. I could have held the ball firmly in front of my face or if feeling a little "continental" punched it away. I ducked. The ball ricocheted up the stand and was thrown back onto the pitch. I may never get the chance to touch a football again. That millisecond of fulfillment was lost. I failed football ========================================================================= From: steve d Subject: Bad away "ends" - leave the popcorn at home Date: 21 January 2002 14:00 The concept of an "end" has long gone in English football. That mythical place where you bonded with fellow fans supporting your team, all stood behind one goal after travelling on a train service barely an upgrade up from a cattle truck. These days you are likely to end up 200 yards from the action in a top tier corner with a great view over Tyneside as you watch Subbutteo players manouvre far below (those of you who have been to St. James will recognise the description). So in recognition of times past I'll throw in two nominations 1) Oxford United - a crumbling edifice overlooking both the cabbage patch that pretended to be the pitch at the Manor Ground and the local playing fields behind. For those who spread their sporting largesse around this was a bonus as it meant you could watch the football or the pugilism outside among the local Cowley carworkers on their day off and Reds who hadn't got in. So what was wrong with the end? It had a bloody shed in the middle of it. You could end up snookered by the shed and unable to see a quarter of the pitch. Coupled of course with their fence. The posts holding the fence up were 4 foot wide. In fact if you were low down the posts blocked off a bigger % of the pitch than you could actually see. Together this meant there were only two decent specs at that end for 4000 reds inside a pen built for quarter that number. 2) Coventry City - an end that seemed to ebb away from you. Got shallower and shallower the longer you stood on it, almost as if there were mine workings beneath. You always felt that you were running up a down escalator desperately trying to glimpse a match at the top. Open to all the elements. Remember one day when I missed almost all the action as i) when the sun came out it was so low and bright you'd have needed radiation shields to look at the pitch ii) when the sun went in the freezing rain drove hard straight down the pitch at the away end, stinging your face so you had to turn away. We all came away as pock-marked as Ziege on a bad day. Now for yours - I'll leave the Nou Camp for another time ........ ================================================================================ From: James Subject: Great news for NZ - Oceania to get automatic spot in WC Finals Date: 27 February 2002 23:40 Dateline: Wednesday, from the quantum of Sepp's mind. New Zealand football received a huge boost today when FIFA boss Sepp Blather announced that from the 2006 World Cup finals onward the winner of the Oceania qualification will proceed automatically to the World Cup finals, rather than having to play off against either a previous World Cup winner or a member of the 'axis of evil' (TM). Speaking after the announcement, a man no-one has ever hear of, but identified as the head of the New Zealand 'Not Rugby Football So Not Of Any Real Interest To Us As A Sport' Association said "This is great news for New Zealand. I know most of you would expect Australia to win this tournament, especially as we are completely useless, but we know the Socceroos will screw it up at the last moment somehow, so we must be in, probably for ever". Analysts expressed some surprise at Mr Blathers promise, as it now brings the number of confirmed spots at the 2006 World Cup finals to at least 37, well above the 32 apparently allowed by the rules. One commentator noted however, that this was the least of the FIFA's problems, as Sepp has also promised the 2010 World Cup to every country in Africa, meaning the finals in that year will require at least 80 spots. James ======================================================================== From: Riffster Subject: Subdivisions of RSS - An immodest proposal Date: 26 February 2002 03:19 Every now and then someone posts subdivisions of RSS that should exist, even if they don't now, nor ever will. Personally I think it is time to launch: rec.sport.soccer.halibut rec.sport.soccer.cuteguys.romanian rec.sport.soccer.minutiae.romanian rec.sport.soccer.glen.hoddle.is.not.a.halibut rec.sport.soccer.victoria.barrett.is.everywhere rec.sport.soccer.sven.mischkies.not.far.behind rec.sport.soccer.perugia.sells.out rec.sport.soccer.stark.raving.loonie.arsenal.fans rec.sport.soccer.nice.educated.proper.arsenal.fans rec.sport.soccer.die.manu.scum.die rec.sport.soccer.officials.really.suck rec.sport.soccer.I.dont.eat.dog rec.sport.soccer.woof.woof.woof rec.sport.soccer.weaufx.weaufx.weaufx rec.sport.soccer.i.like.cute.teams.like.chievo.and.alaves rec.sport.soccer.if.my.brain.falls.out.of.my.head.do.i.pick.it.up rec.sport.soccer.does.anyone.whose.name.doesnt.start.with.dan.like.juve rec.sport.soccer.renaud.doesnt.count rec.sport.soccer.will.inter.win.a.scudetto.before.the.sun.implodes rec.sport.soccer.usa.sucks rec.sport.soccer.usa.soccer.sucks rec.sport.soccer.usa.soccer.sucks.less.than.you.think rec.sport.soccer.ozzie.soccer.fans.suffer.like.tortured.puppies rec.sport.soccer.la.liga.is.the.best.blah.blah.blah rec.sport.soccer.benny.likes.crochet rec.sport.soccer.keith.smith.is.older.than.his.shoe.size rec.sport.soccer.sucker.for.trolls rec.sport.soccer.sucker.for.crossposters rec.sport.soccer.sucker.for.crossposting.trolls rec.sport.soccer.sucker.for.suker rec.sport.soccer.sucker.for.sukur rec.sport.soccer.sukur.is.better.than.inter rec.sport.soccer.faint.praise rec.sport.soccer.womens.soccer.bwahahaha rec.sport.soccer.narrow.minded rec.sport.soccer.on-topic rec.sport.soccer.dont.post.scores.in.headers rec.sport.soccer.why.not.post.scores.in.headers rec.sport.soccer.what.are.headers rec.sport.soccer.why.isnt.it.called.football - Riff "rec.sport.soccer.please.end.this.post" Ster ===================================================================== From: Renaud Dreyer Subject: Re: Subdivisions of RSS - An immodest proposal Date: 26 February 2002 03:42 "Riffster" writes: > rec.sport.soccer.does.anyone.whose.name.doesnt.start.with.dan.like.juve > > rec.sport.soccer.renaud.doesnt.count For a moment I thought I read rec.sport.soccer.renaud.cant.count and that my terrible secret had been discovered. ======================================================================= From: john Rose (jrose@SPAMBLOCKtality.com) Subject: 01 February 2002 10:30 Date: Re: Club Rivalry histor As a neutral observer of the old firm from within Glasgow. (I support the third team in Glasgow), here are a few factoids: Both Celtic and rangers fans never wash. (and for this reason are known as soap dodgers) They are also affectionately (not) known as weedgies they both get an undue amount of help from referees, However Celtic fans are convinced there is a referee's masonic conspiracy against them. (old joke: person 1: I hear rangers got a last minute winner at kilmarnock. Person 2: Oh, who scored the penalty?) Willie Miller was once playing for Aberdeen against Rangers when he went to take a throw-in, The linesman stopped him and said "hey it's oor ball" (meaning it was ranger's throw-in) Both sides are convinced that the Scottish tabloid press are pro the other side, and have pet names for the papers (daily rebel, sunday liam , sunday mason, etc). Fans of other sides have difficulty finding stories about their team. A player who's dad once had a reserve game for the Old firm and never did anything else in the game, will always be known as "son of rangers legend" or "son of celtic legend" even if the player has never had any other connection with the old firm and has on his own merit notched up hundreds of international caps. After 9 years of suffering gloating rangers fans, it took me 1 year of suffering gloating celtic fans for me to lose any fealing of sympathy for them. It is said that if you got to Celtic park often enough, you will eventually steal back your own wallet. Having met bigots from both sides they are both just as bad. there are a few decent fans from both sides. there is a constant debate about which "9 in a row" is better. If you ever say in the west of scotland that you support club **** (non-old firm). You will always get the reply "Aye, but who do you *really* support?"