From: Stephen Halchuk
Date: 01 April 2003 16:07
Subject: Re: Songs that mention football

Victoria Barrett  wrote in message news:<>...
> Since music seems to be something both are newsgroups do very well,
> I'd like to ask which songs have you heard about football?
> Not songs necessarily _about_ football (or anything by Ant and Dec in
> general), but songs which you have heard mention soccer even in
> passing.

Ack! I almost missed this thread - it hasn't come up in a while. If
anyone notices I often rotate various football related lyrics in my

At the bottom of this message is my reply of 9 years ago on the topic.
I still have Attila the stockbroker lyrics pop into my head. In fact,
after Albania's historic 3-1 defeat of Russia over the weekend (I
didn't see anyone comment on this!) I was merrily singing Attila's

Don't want to spend a fortnight on the Costa del Sol!
Don't want to go to Bognor Regis its a plague ridden hole!
Don't want a holiday in the sun!
Two weeks in Tirana is much more fun!

Albania, that's where I want to be!
Albania, that's where I want to be!

not strictly related to football but still classic (although Attila
does have poems/songs about Albanian football, particularly

I'll reiterate from the message below that the "greatest" football
song is by the Real Sounds. I submitted the following request for the
song to the local CBC affiliate's "long song"  feature where they play
1 long song on Friday afternoons. Sadly it has yet to be played...


For me, the most exquisite "long song" around is performed by one
of Zimbabwe's most accomplished rhumba bands, The Real Sounds. This 13
piece orchestra outdoes itself for more than 13 minutes in the
scintillating number "Tornados vs Dynamos (3:3)"

The vital stats: 

Artist: The Real Sounds
Album Title: Wende Zako
Track #4 Tornados vs Dynamos (3:3) (13min25sec) 

Produced by: Rounder Records Corp.
Date:   1987 (CD 5029)

I first heard "Tornados vs Dynamos" almost 15 years ago and have yet
tire of it. It combines my love of soccer and African music. I put it
on whenever the World Cup rolls around, whenever Canada's national
soccer team is about to play an important match, or whenever the mood
strikes me. The beat is infectious and the lyrics classic. An
soccer league clash" is described in detail. The teams' opening
lineups, running commentary and goal celebrations are all interwoven
with the music so skillfully that you can't help but be caught up in
the excitement of the match while your feet strain to get up and

The spectacular performance Canada's Under 19 women at the inaugural
women's world youth soccer tournament in Victoria and Edmonton this
past week makes this long song the perfect celebratory candidate for
Friday's (Aug 30, 2002) show.


And here's the compilation of songs from 9 years ago - just look up
football lyrics on Google if you want more.

"Can Moses Chuunga make the Dynamos supporters leap up in de air?" The
Real Sounds.

From: Stephen Halchuk (
 Subject: Re: looking for modern rock songs about soccer 
 Date: 1994-10-11 16:02:42 PST 

This topic seems to come up every six months or so (perhaps it should
become a FAQ!). There seem to be enough people interested in this
thread this time around that I will post a previous response which
contains several songs containing soccer/football references. These
have been contributed by several people over the past two years. It is
by no means definitive, but it might spur you on to remember some
obscure classics.


---- Begin Previous Article ----

Football related lyrics, a totally trivial topic that's dear to my

Billy Bragg is probably one of the most prolific songwriters when it
comes to football lyrics. 

 "How can you lie there and think of England when you don't even know
 who is in the team"

"Nothing can compare to a ball struck squarely and sweetly.."

"He scores goals on a Saturday
And saves souls on a Sunday"    from "God's Footballer"

"We've been up all night
Moving the goalposts"           from "Moving the Goalposts"

"I had an uncle who once played
For Red Star Belgrade"          from "Sexuality"

And these last three are all on his most recent album (at least of
those released in Canada) - "Don't try this at home"

The Proclaimers from Scotland are avid Hibernian supporters, this is
reflected in their lyrics:

"I can understand why Stranraer lies so lowly ...
they could save a lot of points 
by signing Hib's goalie" from "Cap in Hand"

"....I hitched down one Saturday
Sixty miles to Kilmarnock 
to see Hibernian play" from "The (somethingsomething) Blues"
                       album "Sunshine on Leith"

"You can't be weird in a strange've got to walk and talk in
football time "  - The Jam

"Alan Alan Devonshire Alan Alan Devonshire" - Unknown House Music

From the Pogues album "Peace and Love"

I've never been asked, 
And I've never replied
If I supported Glasgow Rangers" from "Down all the Days"

"The Glory of the Rose" by the Men They Couldn't Hang (Album
Silvertown) tells the sorry tale of some English louts who travel
across the channel to an away match. Billy Bragg (can't remember the
title, but it contains the lyrics "What do they know of England, who
only England know") also explores this theme.

Attila the Stockbroker, that revered ranting poet, is not a singer per
se but still has some great football lyrics. Most of them deride the
narrow mindedness of hooligans while others poke fun at various London

"Nigel's gone off the deep end
He's become a real hard man
He's turned into a Millwall Fan" from "Nigel joins the SAS"

"And now a few choice words, without the slightest hint of malice ...
rather than spend the day with you I'd play for Crystal Palace!"
from "The Boring Vegetables Song"

The song by the Undertones, "My Perfect Cousin", from about 1980,
refers to that classic table top game:

"Even at the age of ten,
 Smart boy Kevin was a smart boy then,
 He beat me at Subbuteo,
 'cos he flicked a kick, and I didn't know"

Another Subbuteo reference comes from:
Half Man Half Biscuit - 
"All I Want For Christmas Is The Dukla Prague Away Kit"

" he'd send his doting mother up the stairs with the stepladder
to get the Subbuteo down from the loft....he had all the accessories
required for that `big match' atmosphere...the crowd and the dug-out
and the floodlights too...and he'd managed to get hold of the Dukla
Prague away kit because his uncle owned a sportshop and he'd put it to
one side... But you'd always get palmed off with a headless
centre-forward and a goalkeeper with no arms and a face like
his.....and after only five minutes you were down to ten men because
he'd sent off your right-back for taking the legs from under his
left-winger..come to half-time you were losing four-nil..each and
every goal a hotly disputed you'd smash up the
and the game is abandoned and the dog would bark and you'd be banned
from his house and your travelling army of synthetic supporters would
be taken away from you and thrown in the bin..."

"I was a teenage armchair Honved fan..."-Half Man Half Biscuit.

Another football lyric is included in - sorry about this - Chaz and
alltime crappy classic from the late 70's "Gertcha"...

"Gertcha, when me rock'n'roll records wake him up
 Gertcha, when the Poles knocked England out the cup"

Some more footy lyrics. From Serious Drinking's early 80s
classic 'The Revolution Starts at Closing Time'.

Love on the Terraces

Her name is Sharon,
She came from Clover,
Her sister Karen,
A little skinhead,
She liked football,
She liked snooker,
She liked A Certain Ratio,
She liked the Monochrome Set,

Love, love, love on the terraces,
Love, love, love on the terraces,
Love, love, love on the terraces,
Love, love, love on the terraces,

At the stadium,
By the river,
Buying her programme,
And a silk scarf,
She had a nice face,
And blonde hair,
She wore a tracksuit,
She was beautiful!


A goal at halftime, 
The same as last week,
The crowd erupted,
As the goal went in,
The match got lively,
And the fight broke out,
I ran for cover,
And then I saw Sharon.


Yeah, I'll always remember the day I met Sharon.
There was chaos all around.
We looked over.
Our eyes met.
We fell in love.
It's as simple as that.

Love, love, love on the terraces (x3)
Me and Sharon,
Love... (x3),
She'll never walk alone,
Love... (x3),
She bought me a bovril,
She stole my heart,
Love... (x3)
She nabbed my programme,
She broke my heart.

"The Official World Cup Theme Music" by Colourbox - no words to it but
still worth mentioning ... also check out Kraftwerk's "Tour de France"
- but I'm getting off topic 8)

Finally, IMHO, the best football lyrics come from the song "Tornados v
Dynamos (3:3)". This eleven minute long saga describes the lineups and
the action in an "exciting soccer league clash" between these two
Zimbabwean club sides. The song is performed by The Real Sounds on
their album "Wende Zako"(1987)

And the referee says "Lets go Moses" ....
And Moses Chuunga steps up to the ball....